Yaba Yaba

I was the Jewish kid in kindergarten who, when asked if Santa was going to leave me any presents, responded “Who is Santa Claus?” My friends explained, and I said “are you stupid? You really believe that a fat man in a red suit with flying reindeer leaves you presents? Your parents buy you the presents, duh.” After having officially ruined Christmas for the entire class, everyones parents called my parents, and I had to go to the mall to sit on Santa’s lap, as a form of cultural sensitivity training. So on Christmas Eve, we went to the mall…standing in line, I was completely freaking out, and my Mom asked why I didn’t want to sit on the scary looking guys lap. I told her that I didn’t want to sit on the wierd Rebbe’s lap…my mom laughed and explained Santa some more, and what Christian people believed, and I calmed down a little. So, when I went to sit on Santa’s lap, he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him, nothing, I am Jewish. So, Santa leaned in and whispered in my ear, “me too.”

From a comment on:

http://digg.com/general_sciences/The_Delicate_Matter_of_the_Truth_About_Santa