Judaism is Linux
This is a response to Heather Gold’s Microsoft = Christian, Apple = Jews.
Judaism is really Linux:
- There’s 100s of commands, most users don’t know half of them and don’t understand half of those.
- Maintenance can keep you busy from the second you open your eyes until the second you close them again.
- It doesn’t do marketing. If you want to buy in, you need to convince us that you’re good enough.
- Every user and his sister have their own customised version.
- At the core, its text based. Have a question? RTFM.
- Ok, we’ll give you a friendly interface (Ubuntu / Reform).
- You won’t believe the bizarre ideas people still have about us (no, I don’t speak Yiddish, and I don’t compile my own kernel).
- The vendors suck, but you can always rely on the community.
- Everybody copies our code.
- Arrogant? no, we’re just better. But sush. Don’t want to upset anyone, do we?
Yaba Yaba 
Just brilliant!
eyoki
July 14, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Excellent!!! Thank you for the laugh.
Jen Gwirtz
December 13, 2010 at 8:32 am
My interpretation.
1. Yes there are 100’s of commands but only a limited number of them apply to me personally. I don’t necessarily have to understand them. I only need to know how to use and obey them. One really cool thing is that if I chain them together correctly some very powerful results will happen and that can really change my life for the better.
2. Yes maintenance is a full time job, but the reward is a system of life that is more secure, and I understand it better, hence it is very rewarding. Unlike other systems that shift the blame for being insecure to someone else to fix it for you, We are responsible to fix it ourselves.
3. The conversion process is long and difficult, deliberately, and never forced. There are many and varied reasons for that, mostly because if you are not really, and I mean REALLY committed, almost to the point of insanity, we don’t want you. We have enough trouble with our character faults with out adding to them. Nothing personal you understand.
4. There may be lots of flavors but that is because everyone struggles with the command set they are given and learning, to personalize it and make it their own.
5. Yes, I am expected to put in the effort to find the answer to my question. RTFM (read the *** manual) Let’s see, I think that should be, STSM. Some of those Safers are, Torah, Tanack, Mishnah, Talmud, Tofsetta, Rashi, Rambam, Ramban, the Bal Shem Tov, there are lots of places to look. And yes there are still some questions that no one has been able to answer, yet. Maybe HaShem has choose you to be the person to answer that question. The more you put in the more you will get out.
6. Not everyone has the time or inclination to become a rabbi. Hence the fancy GUI (ubuntu/kde/gnome/fluxbox…) that take the most basic commands and hook them together with some of the more complex ones to give us a system of life that will keep us on the correct path. Then as we learn more HaShem’s commands by STSM (study the safer manual) we have stable place to build from. This is especially helpful to those of us that did not have the privilege of growing up in an observant Jewish home and came to understand its importance much later in life.
7. I may not speak Yiddish, but I can read Hebrew if the vowel pointing is there. I may not know what it means but with HaShem’s help I will get there. Just like compiling your own kernel it it a badge of honor to do it once, like at a bar / bat mitzvah. On the other hand if I do really learn Hebrew, just like writing kernel code I will better understand what is in the STSM and I will have a tighter, leaner, and more secure system of life. Yes our calendar is strange, but then so is yours. Deal with it.
8. There may not be any Synagogues around where you live, and the ones that are there may not be for you. Especially if you don’t live in an area where there is a large Jewish population. But if you search and pray HaShem will guide you to someone that will help you understand.
9. The problem is that when others copy the “code of life” that HaShem gave to us, they add to it and/or take away from it to make their own religion that suits them. In a way that is good. We need a head, hands and feet, not to mention all the other parts that make up human being to get through life. If their religion helps them be a better person and to do the right thing, what’s the problem? Just don’t try to makes us live by your rules, HaShem gave us our own set.
10. HaShem choose us. That is not our fault. There is nothing we can do about it. If you don’t like it, take it up with HIM. True we do sometimes give the impression that we think we are better than everyone else, way to often actually, but we are working on it, its one of our character faults. Just as with our weakly Torah reading cycle, this takes us right back to the beginning so we can start all over again correcting our character faults by learning more commands and coming to a better understanding of them.
RBees
June 25, 2013 at 1:09 pm